obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
