I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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