I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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