Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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