Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize