i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
so much tequila, so little girl.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize