you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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