What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
