His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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