don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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