Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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