trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I wish i was in the wii world.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Randomize
