Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
