Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
