"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
