I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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