just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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