You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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