She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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