She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Randomize
