Having a random hookup so left but love u
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
