What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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