Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
