anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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