Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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