I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
