Fine. I'll sleep in my office
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
