Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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