I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
areolas are like halos for boobs.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Randomize
