That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
