I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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