this beer tastes like vomit already
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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