Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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