And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
