Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize
