your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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