Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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