you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
