You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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