Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize