yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
