why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
