South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
