I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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