I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
