You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
