She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize