I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
either way he was missing a nipple.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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