and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
