I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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