and i looked up. we had an audience...
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
It's blow job season.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize