no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
