shes about as inviting as chlamydia
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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