Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
