It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
