I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
