Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
