I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
