I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
