I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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