He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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