did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
