Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
NoShamevember. You game?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
