i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
